Failed Philosophical Enterprises

And now, for a bit of humor (well, I hope they're funny): philosophical enterprises that are doomed to failure.

Descartes and Associates
Company Motto: Guilty until proven innocent.

Nietzsche Construction
Company Motto: We build without foundations.

Berkeley Medical Association
Company Motto: It's all in your mind.

Whitehead Pharmaceuticals
Company Motto: We don't deal with substances.

Hobbes' Dating Connection
Company Motto: Connect with those who are solitary, nasty, brutish, and short.

Spinoza Dating Connection
Company Motto: Connect with yourself.